The XMen Theme Song
by strayphoenix
Summary: Jamie writes the XMen a theme song! It's got laughes, fun, and JOTT! I wrote this at 2 in the morning, when i write my best stories. Oneshot


**The X-Men Theme Song/Poem**

IT IS NOT AN OBSESSION! My love for X-Men is a healthy hobby. (twitch)

I do not own X-Men, I do not own Men-X and I certainly don't own the continent of Australia. If I did, you'd know. Trust me ;)

* * *

The X-Men were all gathered in the common room when the Professor wheeled in. Along with Logan and the other professors, the new recruits were also there accompanied by Boom-Boom who was a special invite. They were all just loafing around, some leaning up against walls and others sitting on chairs that they had dragged in from the kitchen. A few sat on the sofa and another few sat on the floor. The youngest of their number was nowhere to be seen.

The Professor aligned his wheelchair with the couch where Kurt, Kitty, Scott and Jean were sitting (Jean on Scott's lap).

"Any idea what this is about?" the powerful telepath asked his eldest students.

"No idea, Professor" Scott responded.

"Yeah, Jamie just told us to meet him here." continued Jean, "He said it was a, quote unquote, 'surprise'" She removed her arms from around her boyfriend's neck and made the gesture with her hands.

"I see…"

They didn't have to wait much longer; a few minutes later, Jamie Madrox entered the common room holding several sheets of paper clipped together. He got up on the coffee table and cleared his throat. Before he could speak though, he was cut off by Bobby.

"What's this about Jamie?"

"Yeah, like, why did you bring us here?" chimed Kitty.

"Shut up and he'll get to it" Kurt ordered.

"Well…" Jamie started, "I was thinking the other day how all these superheroes have theme songs. You know like the Teen Titans and Superman and stuff…"

"Ah don't like where this is going" muttered Rouge to Amara.

"So I wrote us a theme song" he said cheerfully, waving the sheets of paper in his excitement.

"Oh, God, please no" Logan groaned.

"What are we supposed to do with this theme song? Sing it to our foes before we beat them up?" asked Jean sarcastically.

Scott chuckled but stopped and blushed when he realized that he was the only one who found it funny. Jean shot him an appreciative glance.

"Well not really. I just did it for fun. If you like it we can make it the school alma-mater or something"

"I don't think that's gonna happen" said Hank in a slightly scared voice.

"I don't have a tune for it yet so I'll recite it like a poem. Here it goes" Jamie cleared his throat again and began reciting his theme song/poem.

"_We are the X-Men _

_and we totally rule! _

_Saving the world with our powers _

_is just so freaking cool!"_

There was a collective groan form the mansion's residents with a few giggles from the girls.

"_Professor Xavier's our founder _

_he has a powerful mind _

_he puts the 'X' in 'X-Men' _

_and he's also very kind"_

"Why thank you, Jamie" the professor smiled.

"No problem"

"_Cyclops is out leader _

_evil plans he often thwarts _

_with his optic blasts of crimson _

_kept in check by ruby red quartz"_

Scott buried his face in Jean's shoulder trying to hide himself and failing miserably.

>C'mon, Scott> Jean spoke in his head. >It could be worse>

>Like how?>

"_Jean Grey has no code name _

_but she's a telepath _

_and a telekinetic _

_so don't provoke her wrath"_

>Like that> she responded as her teammates laughed.

"_Wolverine is quite feral _

_so don't get in his way_

_if he pops those metal claws of his,_

_you'd better run and pray"_

Some people started to laugh but were cut off by Wolverine's warning glances.

"_Then there's Storm, Ororo_

_whose got long hair of silver_

_she's a talented weather witch _

_and_…well…sorry Storm. Nothing rhymes with silver"

"That's OK" she laughed. "Just go on to the next verse"

"_Rouge can't touch anyone_

_because her touch can kill_

_if you accidentally bump into her,_

_well, I hope you wrote your will"_

Everyone laughed at the way Jamie said the last verse. Everyone except Rouge that is. She shot him the 'see me after class' look that teachers give their students and he shuddered but continued reciting.

"_Kitty's the youngest X-Man _(next to me of course)

_and she can phase through a wall_

_even though she likes saving the world,_

_she'd rather be at the mall"_

"You better believe it" she laughed along with the other mutants.

"_Nightcrawler's our resident prankster_

_he's the fuzzy blue dude_

_whenever your feeling glum,_

_he'll put you in a good mood"_

"Chicks dig the fuzzy dude!" he said confidently which caused the others to laugh.

"But what if your feeling anxious?" asked Rouge sarcastically.

"Or depressed?" added Kitty.

"Or lonely?"

"Or nauseous?"

"Or horny?"

Everyone turned to face Jean who blushed furiously. She sort of slumped in her spot on Scott's lap and murmured,

"I was just kidding"

>Sure> said Scott in her head. She kicked his shin and he yelped.

"Can I continue?"

Scott bit his lip and nodded.

"_Spyke is Storm's nephew_

_he left some time ago_

_he's living in the sewers._

_Why? I don't really know"_

"I can edit that verse if you want" he looked at Storm.

"No that's fine" she said slightly saddened at the memory. "Go on"

"_The New Mutants aren't real X-Men _

_but we're as close as you can get_

_with all our work and training,_

_will we ever be? You bet!"_

The New Mutants laughed at this while the other X-Men just chuckled or smiled.

"Do I count in this?" asked Tabitha from her seat among the New Mutants.

"No. You count in this one."

"_Boom-Boom was once an X-Man_

_Havoc's really not_

_Angel isn't either _

_but all the girls think he's hot"_

The mansion's female population sighed dreamily. Jean started but caught herself and stopped, remembering where she was. She got a thank you kiss on the cheek from Scott for her efforts.

"Are you almost done?" asked an impatient Ray.

"Almost. This is the last verse."

"Aw. But it was getting good" said Roberto.

"Here we go…"

"_This so ends our theme song_

_so somebody pump up the bass!_

_Cuz we're the mutant X-Men_

_And we're gonna kick some--"_

"JAMIE!"

The mansion's residents burst out laughing at the fact that they all had scolded Jamie at the same exact time. The cause of their humor stood befuddled on the coffee table.

"What's so funny? I don't get it."

* * *

Yes, I am a poet. I have written many works and most of them have won prizes. I am also a song writer but I guess that goes hand in hand with being a poet. I based Jamie's personality on my little brother's. They're really alike. D 


End file.
